The Planet

Alex wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 11:18 pm

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 11:15 pm

I've been laughing at the idea of Dracula putting on a fake beard and going out there to pretend to be his own coach driver and now I'm going to be disappointed if we don't see him put on a French maid outfit to dust Jonathan's room or put on beanie propeller hat to pretend to be the stable boy or ... in the next journal entries.

"I must admit, Count Dracula's castle is terrifically well-staffed," Jonathan said.

"I'll say," said Dracula, panting after his umpteenth costume change twenty minutes into the castle tour, not entirely sure if he's wearing the stable boy beanie or the chef's hat.

Just realised I've turned Count Dracula into Count Olaf.

DRACULA: "tell me about this house you've found me"

JONNY: "it's huge and old and right next to an insane asylum"

DRACULA, actively not bringing up the insane asylum: "this is great, I love that it's huge and old"

https://draculadaily.substack.com/p/dra ... -7-bb2?s=r

Still loving 'supped' as a verb.

Of course there's no bell to call the servants, Count D is off to the tailor to get his maid outfit.

Some time after I had finished my meal—I do not know whether to call it breakfast or dinner, for it was between five and six o'clock when I had it

This is the past's equivalent of waking up after noon and having a bowl of cereal in your PJs at 3 PM. Actually, I think dinner here means lunch actually, so he is looking for the word brunch.

"We are in Transylvania; and Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways, and there shall be to you many strange things. Nay, from what you have told me of your experiences already, you know something of what strange things there may be."

"You may have noticed strange things like people crossing themselves and mumbling to themselves 'the devil's castle' when you mention staying with me, but those are just cultural differences, you wouldn't understand."

Because your peasant is at heart a coward and a fool!

A superstitious and cowardly lot... no, wait, wrong bat.

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 10:27 pm

I don't know if Dracula really going out there and putting on a fake beard and pretending to be his own coach driver is supposed to be funny, but it is.

You know what, I honestly can't stop laughing at this book, it's too funny regardless of intention.

Alex wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 10:34 pm

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 10:27 pm

Jonathan Harker is trying to convince us just a little too much that he didn't eat anything weird or drink too much. "I ate perfectly normally, just like you'd eat cat at home and only a couple of glasses of wine."

I looked up what "London cat's meat" actually was, apparently London used to have door to door "cat meat's men," who sold scraps of (mostly horse) meat "too old or diseased to sell to humans," but still good for a cat or dog to eat.

Cats had milkmen, but for meat! What a life!

This does not clarify to me exactly what Jonny's on about. Does he eat cat food at home? Odd man.

(He's definitely trying too hard, though.)

In Victorian times, they really did think that weird dreams were merely a consequence of bad digestion or something along those lines, yeah.

Also, meat delivery for cats?? dangit

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 11:20 pm

Alex wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 11:18 pm

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Thu 05 May, 2022, 11:15 pm

I've been laughing at the idea of Dracula putting on a fake beard and going out there to pretend to be his own coach driver and now I'm going to be disappointed if we don't see him put on a French maid outfit to dust Jonathan's room or put on beanie propeller hat to pretend to be the stable boy or ... in the next journal entries.

"I must admit, Count Dracula's castle is terrifically well-staffed," Jonathan said.

"I'll say," said Dracula, panting after his umpteenth costume change twenty minutes into the castle tour, not entirely sure if he's wearing the stable boy beanie or the chef's hat.

Just realised I've turned Count Dracula into Count Olaf.

/stops breathing

Ol' Jonny Harker today seems to have realised he's holding two dozen red flags, but remains entirely incapable of figuring out exactly where the live ammo military exercise he's wandered into is supposed to be happening.

This is, of course, a side effect of picking up the flags.

https://draculadaily.substack.com/p/dra ... -8-42a?s=r

beginning to increase that vague feeling of uneasiness which I always have when the Count is near;

The man has no reflection and that's only 'beginning to increase that vague feeling of uneasiness'? And when he grabs his throat his eyes blazing with a demonic fury his only takeaway is that it's quite annoying that he has to look into the bottom of his shaving pot to shave?

You know, it's starting to make sense to me why they cast Keanu Reeves as Jonathan in one of the movies, Jonathan is so chill about everything to a fault.

so I went cautiously to my own room and found him making the bed

It happened! Jonathan is just to polite to mention the maid outfit, that's my headcanon and you can't stop me.

He's only now starting to questions all the crucifixes, garlic and stuff? If the driver was a different person that wouldn't be a big deal, two scary weirdoes the villagers warn you about is perfectly normal, but one!?

It's interesting that he keeps repeating that he wouldn't wear a crucifix normally because he'd consider it idolatrous when using crucifixes to ward of vampires is so ingrained in the lore now.

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Sun 08 May, 2022, 2:33 pm

He's only now starting to questions all the crucifixes, garlic and stuff? If the driver was a different person that wouldn't be a big deal, two scary weirdoes the villagers warn you about is perfectly normal, but one!?

I mean right now it's "Englishman is sure he knows better than the locals and is wrong to death, the novelization".

https://draculadaily.substack.com/p/dra ... -9-26b?s=r

Just a quick letter from Mina who doesn't even bother to tell us what she had for breakfast, lunch, dinner or as a late night snack with a vampire.

Jonathan learned a whole quicker way of writing, shorthand, so he could write more superfluous detail in a shorter amount of time and now Mina is doing the same so we are in for a good time.

I do not suppose there will be much of interest to other people; but it is not intended for them.

I'm sure there will be no supernatural encounters worth speaking of or making movies about centries hence.

I shall try to do what I see lady journalists do: interviewing and writing descriptions and trying to remember conversations. I am told that, with a little practice, one can remember all that goes on or that one hears said during a day.

This is the sweetest job description I've ever heard.

I don't mean one of those two-pages-to-the-week-with-Sunday-squeezed-in-a-corner diaries

A CENTURIES-OLD PROBLEM

When we are married I shall be able to be useful to Jonathan

Oh, man, I can't decide if this is very sweet or unbearably depressing

thiskurt wrote: ↑

Sun 08 May, 2022, 2:33 pm

It's interesting that he keeps repeating that he wouldn't wear a crucifix normally because he'd consider it idolatrous when using crucifixes to ward of vampires is so ingrained in the lore now.

Oh, that's because a crucifix necessarily has a person on it! Crosses are usually mostly fine in even the more conservative Protestant denominations, but crucifixes are really a Catholic/Orthodox/very old Christian churches thing.

I'm pretty sure most vampire things I've seen only show crosses, not crucifixes?